What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling in School
Maybe your child’s grades have started slipping.
Maybe homework takes hours, even when the assignment seems simple. Perhaps your child is becoming frustrated, avoiding schoolwork, or saying things like, “I’m just not good at this.”
It can be difficult to know what to do next.
Should you wait and see if things improve? Contact the teacher? Hire a tutor? Request an educational assessment? Could the difficulty be connected to attention, reading, language, handwriting, anxiety, or another area?
When a child is struggling in school, the most important first step is not immediately choosing a service.
It is slowing down long enough to understand what the child is experiencing and what type of support they may actually need.
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling Academically
Not every academic concern shows up as a failing grade.
Some children work extremely hard to maintain average grades. Others hold their emotions together at school and fall apart once they get home. A child may appear to be doing well in one subject while missing foundational skills that become more noticeable as schoolwork becomes more difficult.
Signs that your child may need additional academic support can include:
- Homework regularly takes much longer than expected
- Your child needs an adult beside them for nearly every assignment
- Grades or test scores have started declining
- Your child avoids reading, writing, spelling, or math
- They frequently forget assignments, directions, or materials
- They understand information when it is explained verbally but struggle to complete written work
- They have difficulty remembering skills that were previously taught
- They guess at unfamiliar words instead of sounding them out
- They become tearful, angry, or shut down during schoolwork
- They say they are bad at school or unable to learn
- Teachers report concerns about attention, work completion, or academic progress
- Your child is working hard but still not making the expected progress
One difficult week does not necessarily mean that a child has a learning problem. However, when the same patterns continue, it is worth looking more closely.
Begin by Talking With Your Child
Children do not always have the words to explain why school feels difficult.
A child may say, “I hate reading,” when reading feels slow and exhausting.
They may say, “Math is boring,” when they are embarrassed that other students seem to understand the lesson more quickly.
They may refuse to complete homework because they do not know where to begin.
Try approaching the conversation with curiosity rather than correction.
You might ask:
- What part of school feels easiest right now?
- What part feels the hardest?
- Is there a time during the day when you feel confused or worried?
- What happens when you do not understand something?
- Do you feel comfortable asking your teacher for help?
- What helps you learn something new?
- Is the work too difficult, too long, or hard to organize?
The goal is not to interrogate your child or solve everything in one conversation.
It is to let them know that you see their struggle, you believe them, and you are going to help them find a better path forward.
Talk With the Teacher and Ask Specific Questions
Your child’s teacher can provide important information about what is happening in the classroom.
Instead of only asking, “How is my child doing?” ask questions that may reveal more specific patterns.
Consider asking:
- Is my child struggling in one subject or several?
- Are they working at grade level?
- Do they understand lessons during instruction?
- Can they complete work independently?
- Do they need frequent reminders or individual assistance?
- Are they finishing assignments within the expected amount of time?
- How do they perform on tests compared with everyday classwork?
- Are there specific skills they appear to be missing?
- What interventions or strategies have already been tried?
- Does my child’s classroom performance match what you are seeing in their grades?
A child can perform differently at school than they do at home or during tutoring. The teacher’s observations are one important part of the overall picture.
Identify What Kind of Support Your Child Needs
Not all academic support is the same.
Understanding the difference between services can help families avoid spending time and money on an option that does not address the actual problem.
Homework Support
Homework support focuses on helping a child understand directions, organize assignments, complete current schoolwork, and stay accountable.
This may be helpful when a child generally understands the material but struggles with organization, attention, motivation, or completing work independently.
Individual Tutoring
Individual tutoring focuses on building academic skills and addressing learning gaps.
A tutor may reteach concepts, strengthen foundational skills, provide additional practice, or explain information in a different way.
Tutoring may be appropriate when a child consistently struggles with reading, writing, spelling, math, study skills, or another academic area.
Specialized Reading or Dyslexia Support
Some children need more than general reading practice.
Children with persistent difficulty in phonics, decoding, spelling, fluency, or written language may benefit from structured and explicit reading instruction.
Carolina Therapy Connection provides Orton Gillingham reading support for students with dyslexia, reading difficulties, spelling challenges, and other language based learning differences.
Educational Assessment
An educational assessment may help identify a child’s current academic strengths, areas of difficulty, and the specific skills that need support.
Assessment may be helpful when:
- The reason for the struggle is unclear
- Concerns affect several academic areas
- Tutoring has not produced the expected progress
- School performance does not seem consistent with the child’s abilities
- The child performs well verbally but struggles with written work
- Parents and teachers are seeing different patterns
- The family needs more information before creating an intervention plan
Not every child needs a comprehensive educational assessment before beginning tutoring. Sometimes a consultation, review of schoolwork, or informal skill measure provides enough information to begin.
When Should You Consider Hiring a Tutor?
Tutoring is not only for children who are failing a class.
Early support can prevent a smaller learning gap from becoming more difficult to address later.
A tutor may be helpful when:
- Your child continues to struggle despite extra help at school
- Homework has become a nightly source of conflict
- Your child has lost confidence
- Foundational skills appear weak
- Your child needs more repetition than the classroom can provide
- They benefit from information being explained in a different way
- They need help developing organization, study, or test taking skills
- They are preparing for a transition to a more demanding grade level
- They need enrichment or additional academic challenge
The right tutor should not simply help a child finish worksheets.
Tutoring should help the child understand concepts, build independence, and begin to see themselves as capable of learning.
Why a Collaborative Approach Matters
No single adult sees every part of a child’s learning experience.
Parents see homework struggles, emotional reactions, and how much support is needed at home.
Teachers see classroom performance, grade level expectations, group participation, and how independently the child completes work.
Tutors have the opportunity to slow down, observe patterns, and provide individualized instruction.
When appropriate and with parent permission, other professionals may also contribute valuable information.
For example:
- A speech language pathologist may recognize language or comprehension difficulties affecting academic work
- An occupational therapist may identify handwriting, fine motor, sensory, or executive functioning concerns
- A mental wellness professional may help address school anxiety, confidence, or emotional regulation
- A reading specialist may identify decoding, spelling, or fluency patterns
The purpose of collaboration is not to make the child’s support system more complicated.
It is to help the adults around the child understand what is happening and work toward consistent goals.
What Effective Collaboration Looks Like
Good collaboration does not require constant meetings or lengthy emails.
It can be simple, focused, and practical.
Sharing Relevant Information
Parents may choose to share:
- Report cards
- Teacher comments
- Recent assessments
- Individualized Education Programs or 504 Plans
- Work samples
- Previous evaluations
- Information about homework patterns
- Strategies that have or have not worked
This gives the tutor or educational specialist a better starting point.
Creating Specific Goals
A goal such as “improve reading” is too broad to guide effective instruction.
A more specific goal may include:
- Improving decoding of unfamiliar words
- Increasing reading fluency
- Strengthening reading comprehension
- Learning spelling patterns
- Improving math fact recall
- Organizing written responses
- Completing assignments more independently
Specific goals make it easier to plan instruction and measure progress.
Using Consistent Strategies
Children can become confused when every adult uses completely different language or methods.
A tutor does not need to copy the classroom lesson exactly. However, understanding the strategies being used at school can help the tutor reinforce important concepts while filling in missing skills.
Consistency may also help the child use a successful strategy in more than one setting.
Providing Practical Updates
Parents do not need a lengthy report after every session.
A useful tutoring update may include:
- What the child worked on
- What they did well
- Where they needed support
- Which strategy helped
- What can be reinforced at home
- Whether the tutoring plan should be adjusted
The best communication is clear, useful, and focused on helping the child move forward.
Could Something Other Than Academics Be Affecting School Performance?
Sometimes a child understands the academic material but struggles with the skills required to show what they know.
School performance may also be affected by:
- Attention
- Executive functioning
- Language processing
- Handwriting or fine motor skills
- Sensory regulation
- Anxiety
- Sleep
- Vision or hearing concerns
- Difficulty with transitions
- Low confidence
- Fear of making mistakes
This does not mean that every child who struggles academically needs therapy or a diagnosis.
It means that looking at the whole child can help families avoid assuming the problem is laziness or lack of effort.
For example, a child may know the answer but struggle to organize it into a written paragraph. Another child may understand math but be unable to read the word problem independently. A third child may know the material at home but become overwhelmed during tests.
Understanding the reason behind the difficulty helps families choose the right support.
What Parents Can Do at Home
While you are gathering information and deciding on next steps, there are several things you can do to support your child.
Protect Their Confidence
Avoid describing your child as lazy, careless, or unmotivated.
Children often internalize these descriptions. Once a child begins believing they are bad at school, they may stop trying because trying feels too risky.
Instead, say:
“This is difficult right now, but we are going to figure out what kind of help you need.”
Break Work Into Smaller Steps
Large assignments can feel overwhelming.
Help your child identify the first step instead of focusing on the entire task.
For example:
“Let’s open your folder.”
“Let’s read the directions together.”
“Let’s complete the first three problems.”
Small steps can reduce anxiety and create momentum.
Create a Predictable Routine
Choose a consistent homework time and location.
Some children need a snack, movement, or quiet time before beginning. Others work best when they complete assignments immediately after school.
The best routine is one that works for your child and can be followed consistently.
Communicate Honestly With the Teacher
When homework takes an unreasonable amount of time, let the teacher know.
A simple note explaining how long the assignment took, how much assistance was needed, and where the child became stuck can provide important information.
Know When to Pause
There is a difference between encouraging perseverance and continuing an interaction that is no longer productive.
When a child is highly upset, learning is unlikely to happen effectively. Take a brief pause, help everyone calm down, and return to the assignment when possible.
How Carolina Therapy Connection Supports Children Who Are Struggling in School
Carolina Therapy Connection provides personalized educational support for children and teens in Greenville and New Bern, North Carolina.
Educational services may include:
- Individual tutoring
- Homework and academic support
- Reading, writing, spelling, and math instruction
- Orton Gillingham reading support
- Dyslexia support
- Study skills and organization
- Test taking strategies
- Educational consultations
- Educational assessments
- Homeschool support
- Collaboration with families and teachers, with parent permission
Our tutors use individualized instruction, hands on learning activities, visual supports, and educational tools to help children remain engaged while building skills and confidence.
Because Carolina Therapy Connection also provides occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy, and mental wellness services, families can access additional support when those services are appropriate.
Educational services and therapy services remain separate. However, with parent permission, communication among professionals may help create a clearer understanding of the child’s strengths and needs.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does my child need a tutor if they are not failing?
No.
A child may benefit from tutoring to strengthen foundational skills, improve confidence, prepare for more advanced work, develop study skills, or prevent a learning gap from becoming larger.
How do I know whether my child needs tutoring or an educational assessment?
Tutoring may be a good place to begin when the area of difficulty is clear.
An educational assessment may be helpful when the reason for the struggle is unclear, several academic areas are affected, or previous support has not resulted in expected progress.
Can a tutor communicate with my child’s teacher?
Communication may be possible with written parent or guardian permission and according to the teacher or school’s communication procedures.
What if my child refuses tutoring?
Children may resist tutoring because they feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, or worried that it will be more schoolwork.
Explain that tutoring is not a punishment. It is an opportunity to work with someone individually, ask questions, and learn in a way that may feel easier.
The right tutoring relationship should help the child feel supported rather than judged.
How long does tutoring take to work?
Progress depends on the child’s needs, the skills being addressed, the frequency of sessions, and whether the child can use those skills in other settings.
Families should expect regular communication about goals, progress, and whether the tutoring plan needs to be adjusted.
Your Child Is More Than Their Grades
Watching your child struggle can be painful, especially when you know they are trying.
But difficulty in school does not mean that a child is incapable, lazy, or destined to fall behind.
Sometimes children need more time.
Sometimes they need a different explanation.
Sometimes they need direct instruction in a missing skill.
Sometimes they need the adults around them to compare what they are seeing and work together.
The right support can improve academic performance, but it can also restore something just as important…a child’s confidence and belief that they are capable of learning.
Ready to Find the Right Support for Your Child?
Carolina Therapy Connection offers personalized tutoring, homework support, educational consultations, educational assessments, Orton Gillingham reading support, and homeschool support in Greenville and New Bern, North Carolina.
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